A Rant on the subjects of US Banking and Financial Web Design

In my callow youth I have been know to have abused the banking system unwisely.  I have used cheque guarentee cards in ways they were not intended to be used.  I have gone over my overdraft limit.  I have had plastic surgery at the hands of a really obnoxious student officer at Barclays.

However, in more recent years I've not really had any problems and I've not, actually, really had much in the way of debt.  We still don't.  I am therefore non-plussed to find that I have lots of money but still seem to run foul of the banking system, sadly this is a strange mixture of my unfamiliarity with the US banking services and the frankly 1970s way they run them.

I went to use the ATM yesterday from my main account (which will cost me $2 because I can't find a branch of my main bank's machines anywhere, if I use my secondary account that would be $4 ($2 for the ATM and $2 to my bank because I used a competitor...) - the transaction was declined.  I frown and check the balance.  $620OD?!?  I find some interweb and check online.  I am indeed that much overdrawn, and not because of an unexpected payment or cheque but because we went overdrawn on Monday by $10 but were then allowed to use the ATM on Tuesday and 4 other small payments totalling about $170 went through on Tuesday.  So where did the rest of the $620 come from?

Easy:  The $32 per item payment charge and the $32 fine for "using our overdraft facility of $500"...

I go in to speak to the bank, mainly to figure out why they (a) didn't notify us and (b) why we could still use our ATM card and debit card.

This is where it got really weird.  They have given us a $500 "overdraft facility" - what this means is they'll honour any payments up to $500, but charge $32 per item and an additional $32 if you go over the $500.  This is to help us if we submit a cheque that we really didn't want returned (more on that later).  I explained how overdraft facilities work elsewhere.  Blank incomprehension.  So, I ask, can I have a $500 line of credit on the current account to avoid this again?

"We don't offer that."  You could put $500 in a savings account and we'll draw on that instead (for a fee).   Alternatively, you should check your balance daily.

Ok, I say, I have a lot of money in other bank, here is the card, can you request a transfer.  No.  They can do a cash advance on the credit card for 1.5% of the total, but they can't actually accept a direct BACS style transfer from another bank.  I could write them a cheque.

Eventually they did agree this was all a bit crap and refunded most of the fees and also shut down the savings account they insisted I open that I've not been using (because it is a crap interest rate and therefore not all that interesting) but from which they were withdrawing $10 a month "service charges" because they had increased the minimum balance to $10,000(!) and I hadn't got that much in there.

And, all this from the bank that advertise free "checking".

So, in England, I'd pay bills from my bank account.  In the US, they also have Bill Pay, however, rather than a transfer inside the banking system, what you do is enter the account payee details, and the address and, you'll like this, they PRINT A CHEQUE AND POST IT FOR YOU!!!  Consequently, rather than paying my AmEx bill from the bank, I'm having to do it from the AmEx site.  So, having changed primary account, I enter the new details.  They are accepted and an option appears "Pay Bill Now".  I click on this, press "confirm", and go away happen.

A couple of days later I try and use my ATM card and find that I'm $5000 overdrawn.  Why?  Because the AmEx web payment system actually still take the money from the original default account unless after entering the details, you then go back to the main menu, select manage accounts, re-enter the details and set as default.

I go into the bank to sort it out, no dice, they won't stop the payment, they can't do anything.  I call AmEx to tell them to stop the payment.  No, they can't do it either.

So, guess what.  2 days later, it happens again.

At least AmEx have agreed to refund me the bank charges.  

This is like being back in time.

Bless you Mr Back Doctor sir...

"Hurts a lot does it?" he asks, poking me in various places.  I grit my teeth, eyes watering.
"A little, musn't grumble."
"I'll give you some Vicodin while it settles down then."
"Er... ok then..."

Well, that would solve that problem then.

Vexed...

I was bidding to get a phone for Maryse from eBay and got outbid at the last minute.  What with one thing and other I decided to leave it a few days.  Apparently the top bidder didn't pay and they offered the phone to me, but I missed the email.

Bumholes.

I've put my original bid into the new auction but I doubt I'll win it.