Stranger in a Familiar Land

One of the things about growing up in the UK in the 1970s was the prevelance of American culture and TV - it lulls you into thinking that you've seen a lot about American and therefore know a lot about it.  I remember the first time I came to the US in 1978 and just how amazing it was as a place.  The food was incredible, the size of everything from houses to roads.  The general senseawunder the whole place gave me was just off the charts.

The problem with coming back, as often as I have, and now actually trying to function as a foreign national here is that while things look superficially familar, you realise just how darned different everything is and just how painful it is possible to make things.  The problem is it all looks like the shiny America I remember from when I was 10.  The trouble is, in many respects and in certain areas, it is actually the same America - just the Britiain of 1978 is really a foreign country now.

In the car, driving to work this morning, I was pondering these thoughts and feeling the urge to write an amusing travel guide for the Stranger moving to what you think is a place similar but not quite like home, only to find it really is a disturbingly alien culture in places.  The trouble is, it would be hard to do that without (a) turning it into an anti-American rant/screed and (b) keeping focused on just what a pain in the arse the UK can be for non-UK citizens.

However, I now have it on good authority from somebody who has moved to the UK from abroad and is now trying to deal with the US systems - the UK is easier.  Not necessarily much, but easier.

I even had an idea of the Chapter Headings for the book...
 - Food: Is that the 16 or 20oz Fillet sir?
 - To Drive or Not to Drive: There is no question...
 - Immigration: Don't smile, don't look at the man, did you fill in the WHOLE FORM?
 - Cinema ettiquette: Cheer the trailer, ignore the movie...
 - Banking: Surviving the fiscal dark ages -or- back to 1973, Life on Mars it ain't...
 - Handling Officialdom: Don't smile, don't look at the man, did you fill in the WHOLE FORM? It's the law, sir, live with it...
 - Television: Or why I still use Bit Torrent and not broadcast TV even though the stuff is being shown here...
 - TV News: Duck found dead on the 520, traffic in chaos, film at 10...
 - Food Shopping: Cheese - the future's bright, it's orange
 - Buying a Car: Lying bastard scumbag car salesman I have known...
 - Embarrasing your hosts: Easy ways to mention simple things which will have people running for cover

There are many many more...