Centre Parcs...

So, here's the first part of my holiday saga.

I mentioned, and was told I should never go, that we were having our company 10th party at Centre Parcs. Cool. Well, not really. It's a little like the village. I also thought that I saw Omega from a distance, but I may just have been getting nervous about the whole SF feel.

The place really does look like the planets Kirk et al would beam into.

Our "Villa" even had inhuman life. Rodent in fact. Its not fun to be woken up to the sound of "scrabblings" from my wife's bag, move things and have super mouse hurl itself across the room.

The high spot was the company meal where they introduced our "new" Director of Sales - Mister Baldrick. Tony Robinson aquitted himself well with a rather lengthy and well targetted piss take of the entire company and management.

On route to Gatwick we went to see Underworld. I liked it. Kate Beckinsale has a very very very shiny bum.

Malta

Seems like a nice Island. Didn't see much of it mind you, we weren't exactly up for anything other than lying by the pool reading. At least I got to read a lot.

We haven't had a real holiday in about 4 years and our lives have been pretty full the last few years and we decided to book a nice break at a nice resort. Or rather, we intended to book into a nice resort. On arrival we were informed that there were no rooms at the hotel and they didn't have our reservation. I resisted the urge to lie on my back in the lobby kicking my legs up and down and screaming. Instead I was reasonable, handed over all the booking stuff and went for a beer.

I called my travel agent:

Them: "But you have a travel voucher?"
Me: "Yes, but they have no rooms."
Them: "But they have to take you, you have a voucher!"
Me: "Yes, indeed, but that doesn't magically create more room. They're full."
Them: "Full?"
Me: "As in no rooms."
Them: "We'll call you back."

We hand to spend 3 days in another albeit inferior hotel. Never mind.

Malta: It is really strange to be in a place so Southern Med and so British. Same side of the road, same plug sockets, English signs and so on. Pub Culture, great seafood and so forth.

Strange differences, unlike most places I've been in the Med, you not only get local lads going out but also the local women.

Its not a place for a cheap holiday with the Malteese Lira (also called the Pound) at £0.58 = 1MLR

Quibbles: British people's kids. *sigh* why do we inflict them on people?

Books I Read on Holiday...

Speaker for the Dead - Orson Scott Card
Very so-so sequel, 2.5/5

Prey - Michael Crichton
Words fail to describe this novelisation of the screenplay for a film they hopefully will never make. Poor science and commercial trash. 2/5

Crptonomicon - Neal Stephenson
Excellent, as good as the first time, actually better! 5/5

Downsize This! - Michael Moore
Not terribly good sadly, not a patch on Stupid White Men. 2.75/5

The Best Democracy Money Can Buy - Greg Palast
Not bad at all, an excellent look at US and British politics and who is in who's pocket. 4/5

The Witches of Chiswick - Robert Rankin
What more can I say, great stuff! 4.5/5

Effendi - Jon Courtney Grimwood
Good story, nice to see an alternative world where the alternative is subservient to the story. 4/5

Master and Commmander - Patrick O'Brian
High seas hi-jinks. Not bad, but I suspect its not the best in the series. 3.75/5